Liz Hurleys evil plot involves turning Shane Warne into orange leather

Orange you glad you clicked on this post? GAH. SO ORANGE. I mean, I love Liz Hurley and Shane Warne together, but all of Shane’s careful skin care is being undone by his extreme tanning, what I’m assuming is a combination of fake-bake spray tans and tanning beds. His skin looks like leather. Orange leather.

Anyway, these are new pics of Shane and Liz in Melbourne, Australia, where they were attending a club opening – the opening of Club 23, “the ultimate private bar and mini casino”. People are calling it “Shane’s bar” but it’s not – according to The Mail, “Warne does not actually own the bar or have any involvement in the running of it as a day-to-day business. Instead, he is merely an ‘ambassador’ of the club, along with professional poker player Joe Hachem.”

Liz donned a bandage dress for the occasion, and I kind of have to give her credit for her evil, Pygmalion Plan to turn Shane into this leathery, frozen, giant-teethed Botox monster – now she looks even better by comparison. Standing next to THAT, she looks even more beautiful. Her skin is gorgeous. As for Shane… his new face is managing to “settle in” a big more, but he still looks ridiculous. I feel kind of bad for him. This is the one of the weirdest and funniest mid-life crises I’ve ever seen.

My favorite part of the photos from this club opening? Tiger Woods was the big “get”. Shane even did photos with him. The British and Aussie papers are trying to make it sound like Shane didn’t want Liz to get near Tiger, lest the Tiger-dong somehow accidentally slip inside Liz. I don’t think Shane has anything to worry about, though. It’s not like Liz is a 20-something HoJo’s waitress (Tiger’s type).

By the by, I still think Liz is doing this whole “loved up and engaged” thing partly because her ex Hugh Grant has just become a father for the first time.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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